a break up letter

Dear Facebook, 

I'm breaking up with you. . . Well kind of. It's not that I don't like you. Actually, I really do.  Well, I did . . . In the beginning.  ACTUALLY, if I'm being completely honest in the beginning it was just plain awkward.  There, I said it.  But it was. I mean,  I only hooked up with you in the first place because some friends told me about you, how great you were, sooo much cooler than MySpace & they were from the States & so they HAD to be right, didn't they?

And I have to say, at first it was kinda weird & slightly uncomfortable because apparently not many people here in NZ knew about you, well none of my friends anyway.  It took a while for people to get used to you, I guess.  But a couple of months in & BAM, suddenly I had friend requests coming in thick & fast.  I accepted close friends,  I reconnected with old friends . . . & connected with friends I barely knew, & some I may or may not say 'hi' to when passing in the street, & some who I definitely did not know & most definitely would not say 'hi' to when passing in the street.  It was great.  All these friends.  Aah, they were good times. 

I loved to visit with you & find a new message on my wall from a friend or family member.  I felt so loved. The opportunity to upload photos & let friends & family see what was happening in my life was just wonderful.  I was a little unsure of the whole 'status update' thing at first.  What could I say, to the whole wide world that was so important anyway?  But it didn't take too long to get the hang of it & judging by the updates from friends, we were all catching on pretty quickly.  It was great scrolling through friends' photos - seeing how they'd changed over the years, the adventures they'd been on, the partners they'd chosen, the children they'd produced.  I don't know why, but it took me a while to get the hang of 'liking' updates or photos. But I must admit, it was wonderful to experience the convenience of simply clicking a button to show my appreciation or approval, rather than having to think up a meaningful comment to communicate the same.  'Selfies' were a revelation & I have to admit, one I grew weary with rather quickly.  I'm not trying to criticise, it's just . . . Well, enough said on that topic. 

Look, don't get me wrong, it was mostly wonderful.  Really. I truly loved being connected to others in the way you allowed, during a time in my life when I was physically disconnected because of distance & the general business of life as a young mama.  It's just that somewhere along the line it all changed.  I'm sorry to say, things kinda soured for me.  I didn't realise at the time but I can pretty much tell you the exact day it all went downhill for me - the day my third baby was born & I took my husband's old phone in my hot little hand for my very own & suddenly I had access to you ALL. THE. TIME.  At a stage in my life where I was alone for more reasons than I care to explain, it was a comfort to know you were there just a click away & I could lose myself in you. 

When I was with you, sometimes it was like no one else was around.  It was just me & you (& the other 1 billion + users).  & at the time i needed that comfort.  Sure,  sometimes I was meant to be using my time in other ways,  & yeah, there were times when we were together that I could have been connecting with those around me & I chose you. It's just that you were so. darn. convenient. And easy. & you took me to another place.  I could switch off when I was with you. I didn't have to think.  & that was SO great. 

And then it wasn't.  I wish I was one of those people who could take or leave you.  I'm sorry, I know that sounds harsh.  But you know what I mean, right?  The ones who hang with you for a bit or check in here & there.  But me, with my OCD tendencies & you, & your alluring nature, well, it was all or nothing.  Ok, it was all.  This is the hard part Facebook,  because  I really do like you.  You're great.  No really, it's not you, it's me.  And I'm sorry, but I just can't do this anymore.  It's not goodbye, I promise.  Just . . . from now on, let's leave it at a working relationship, shall we?  Please don't think of me as using you . . . More, just utilizing your strengths.  Ok?

Kind regards,

Me.